so yesterday I finished reading the novel Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. Yeah I know what you're thinking, Nicholas Sparks?!?! He's the guy who wrote The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Message in a bottle, etc. Another thing you're prolly thinking is, "Carl, what kind of guy are you? reading nicholas sparks and all" Well let me tell you I was def. skeptical at first, I didn't even like a walk to remember, but after reading the book I was quite surprised that I enjoyed it. That doesn't mean I'm gonna go read the rest of his collection, however I won't shoot down the possibility of reading another one.
Well moving on, the reason why I even mentioned this book in the first place was because of the way it made me think about relationships, and this romantic concept of love. Sparing the details and spoiling the whole novel, I wanted to discuss the topic of "making the right decision". There are so many choices that we have to make when it comes to a relationship or even trying to enter one, but how do we know if we're making the right ones? When you're in love with someone, does it mean to care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be?
As human we have the tendency to want/desire things for ourselves, or in other words we just selfish beings. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we're all selfish all the time, but we generally are. However it's this thing we call love that humbles us, makes us turn from our selfishness and become selfless. I'm not gonna get biblical on you and start reciting 1 Cor 13 and saying what love is, but yeah you get the point. However, in a relationship there isn't always just love. Sometimes that selfishness that also resides in our heart finds it's way into the relationship. Selfishness can look like wanting to spend more time with one another, getting physical, pretty much anything with the motivation to benefit yourself. At times, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, but remember that a relationship is about two people not only one. This leads me back to whether or not we are making the right decisions.
The reason why we make the wrong decisions is because we set our standards on the level of how people live. We think that we gotta live up to certain relationships because they seem to work or we really want that in our lives. To be blunt, it ain't the right way to see things. Now I'm gonna get biblical on you, the only way we can even understand love is seeing it in its best form. That's God sending his only son to die for us. Think about that last question in the beginning. To care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choice may be. That's exactly what God did for us. It's not like it was an easy decision to make, or just because he's God he can snap his fingers and everything will be okay. A sacrifice was made. Honestly if there's no sacrifice on each other part, then reevaluate whether or not the right decision is being made. On a personal level, I can tell you that there were so many times I wanted things done my way, now realizing that it takes two to sacrifice. Also there isn't equality when it comes to sacrifice. In a sense, one will seem to "do" more, but that's what makes sacrifice what it is. You just gotta realize it, and be grateful for what you have.
2 comments:
nice entry. but you're still pretty gay =/
carl, like i told you before, nicholas sparks reading material should be left to 8th graders and below - not to mention it's probably what heightens their hormones.
i enjoyed your entry, albeit a few minor disagreements. but what made the entire thing hilarious was that it is laced with this undertone of sadness, probably stemming from a tumultuous and inconsistent romantic history.
and be grammatically correct!
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