Which one do you believe in? The first half of the title, suggest that whatever you are missing makes the heart yearn for it more through time. The second half of the title, suggest that whatever missing is just that, gone from your thoughts. Maybe I have to be clearer. Which one of the two do you believe in when it comes to someone you once cared about, but they aren't there in your daily life anymore? There is no right answer when it comes down to choosing one. One isn't always better than the other. It's a matter of choice and sticking to what you believe. I ask the question not having the intention of knowing your answer, but for you to evaluate your own heart and its actions. My past entries have been about others and what my observations about them were. This one is about myself and my experiences on this topic. At different junctions of my life (IN THE PAST) I have chosen followed each saying. Here I will share my insight.
absence makes the heart grow fonder
I like to joke around by saying this is the "you got it bad" phase. Even though she's not around, somehow she occupies your mind. Whenever you aren't doing something, the thought of her consumes you. It's not obsessive or anything, but it actually drives you kinda crazy. That good kinda crazy. It's the feeling you get when you know something amazing is gone from your life and the moment you realize it, it's like a part of you is missing. A void that is unable to be filled right away by another person. Bittersweet. You're holding on to that thread of hope, looking for signs that quite possibly a return to equilibrium will come one day. Be ready to lose sleep because there will be nights where restlessness will creep up on you. There were times where D-mode settles in. Those are the worst of times. The best part is the objective view you get of the person. No longer are you constantly around them, but you get to see them for who they are without proximity, mere exposure, and the works. This could be the point where it solidifies your feelings for them, but at the same time hanging by this thread of hope can be dangerous. She may not feel the same way or she just found someone else. Plus, going for round two is very challenging. Timing plays a big role here.
out of sight, out of mind
This is what i like to call the "i don't give an eff" stage. It's not that you've become apathetic or stopped caring about everything at all. It's just the fact that since you don't see that person, you stopped thinking about them and move your thoughts elsewhere. In a sense you stopped caring for that person because you feel like your thoughts shouldn't be wasted on them. It doesn't matter what happens to them, it is just news to your head. The good thing about going through with this is that you move on faster and can get yourself to look forward to the future. "Grass is greener on the other side" type deal. Some one asked, "If you actually like this person, how can you just "move on" or "stop caring" about that person so quickly? Doesn't that mean you never cared for them at all?" Not at all. In some of the cases, you might still care, but you got to sacrifice that in order to get some perspective. Sometimes it's just for the best. Sometimes you're opening your eyes and seeing them for who they really are and realizing it's just not meant to be.
In the end, no matter what choice I made. The girl does not come back into my life. She ends up just being an acquaintance of mine, and maybe we become friends later. Rarely does the girl ever come back into your life and plays a significant role. I've seen it a few times because both parties were committed to each other and later down the road they came back together. What I'm trying to say is don't get your hopes up too high because the odds are stacked against you. At the time, your heart and emotions might tell you that getting back with person might be a great idea, but you just have to think logically as well. Just trust, that someone better will come along. No need to force anything. But for most of my readers, here's some advice if you want to find a significant other: Leave AA because it's not a matter if the boy likes the girl, it's the matter of whether or not everyone and their moms approve of such a relationship should work out. You don't need that.
8 comments:
the last sentence....is sadly true....LOL
Your last sentence applies to everywhere you go. The point is that you need to find a girl that is willing to accept you regardless of what other people think. Because in the world of girls, one minute your golden, and the next your on the outs. Its annoying because often they lack maturity and focus on one flaw or mistake rather than the body of work.
It sucks, cause you have mad potential and you can't see that. Your better than her, in 10 years she will have wished that she had gotten with you.
you're going to get approval/disapproval anywhere you go, man...it's just the matter of how much you and/or your counterpart is influenced by it.
as for what peter said, i see what he's saying, but girls aren't dumb and usually they're more mature than dudes. if they have a problem with one thing about their guy - big enough to hinder the relationship - it's probably a really big one. believe it or not, girls are more understanding and lenient than guys. In addition, it's quite possible (even likely) that whoever she is, she won't be sorry in 10 years and she'll be happy with some other guy (or girl...or alone..I guess). sorry to be a huge feminist douche bag in your and peter's pity party, and with that, welcome to the real world (outside of Ann Arbor...or let me just say it, since we all know...HMCC)
and oh yeah. no one is better than someone. it's just whether if it works or not. some pieces of the puzzle fit together (although not always perfectly), and some don't at all
I totally agree with you Q. Girls know what they are doing. But what i'm saying, is that in this culture you're either in or your out. Those that are choose to be in cannot be with someone who chooses to be out. If you see all the relationships that started in our community, you can see two ins got together, or two outs. Haha hopefully you get that, or else i'll have to explain it some other time.
This is an interesting topic... HMCC vs. the real world. Although I think that the in and out thing has a lot of weight, I also think that for your specific case, I would say that perhaps the girl wanted to see what is out in the real world, to see what the world has to offer outside of Michigan. Whether she finds what she is looking for, time will tell...
I see what you're saying. And generally/unfortunately, you're right. But what can you do? You can try to be the exception, or you can just accept things for what they are and just move on. As a side note, I have a theory that the inward culture and mating tendencies at HMCC is going to lead to cultural implosion and severely unfortunate circumstances of segregation from the rest of the world, whatever that means to you.
I would go on, but I am certain I'll end up viciously slandering and undermining HMCC. And that's not the point at all here.
I wonder (with a smile) who else is silently perusing this blog and its comments.
Lastly, my hat is off to you for not becoming one of the ones who are so completely "in" that they are stuck to get what you want. Although I wouldn't really contest it if that's what you decide to do later on. I might laugh though.
Haha,ok Sang, you caught me dipping in the cookie jar a bit. So I would like to retract my statement. But it is an equally egregious generalization to say that girls are more mature. So lets just focus on this specific case. So Sang, the reason that I say that Carl is better than her is not that he is a better overall person or has greater intrinsic worth, but in this case specifically, she doesn't deserve his love. I won't go much further than to say that if the relationship was not going to work out or was based on a certain anticipated result, then why string someone along other than for your own purposes and security reasons. So in a worldly sense, you can say that she was smart for waiting and seeing how something panned out, but I would venture to say that this is a sign of real immaturity. And in that sense, Carl was better than her because he offered her more than she would of ever afforded to him. So maybe in 10 years she will be happy, but I am guessing that won't happen until she matures a bit.
In terms of HMCC, it is definitely a strange deal. I believe that someone could write a book about the social dynamics involved. It would be a damn interesting read too! To me the strangest thing is the deviation between brother and sister hood. For example, Valentines day. I never understood the celebration of a romantic holiday with your supposed brothers or sisters. It creates an uneasy tension that should be left for your significant other.
Post a Comment