Potential. All my life, people have been telling me that I have potential. The potential to do and be greater than who I am. As they are saying this to me, the questions that always pops up in my mind is, "isn't that true for everyone? don't we all have the potential to be better? because I am 100% sure that no one in this world has maximized all they can do in their life." I know they are saying this out of love, trying to motivate me to be better, etc. but at the same time in their eyes, they see me as a failure. I can tell by the tone of their voice, the context in which they share it with, and how they look at me. The kicker is that I know that I am a failure. In some sense they are right. I should be doing/being this person I could be because I have the capability to do so. There are so many things I know I could be doing better or right, but I just let it slide because I feel as though my life is A-ok. All my life, I've gotten by with the norm. Mediocre. Slightly better than average. Whatever it takes to "succeed", but not go over the top. In the end, my mind thinks two things: there's always someone that's going to be better than you in whatever you do, so don't waste your time in being better than everyone because it will just consume your life. no matter what the situation may be, as long as I am still alive on this earth, everything will be okay because I know that God is always there.
I look at those people who overachieve, and I wonder if they are ever satisfied. I'm sure they find pleasure in besting someone or receiving recognition/award, but that never lasts. In return, they keep working to get more and it's a never ending cycle. And then I see my life, I've gotten by with everything, and I'm somewhat content with it. I know I could have, should have, would have done things different if I knew the outcome, but I don't. But at the same time, I know not overachieving does not mean that I can be stagnate, or worse, falling the other way. I'm on a very slippery slope. Ultimately, I want my motiviation to be for God and no one else, but when people run the guilt trip on you I find myself either: Doing it for them, so they can shut the eff up or say or do the wrong thing, even if in my heart i know that i'm just going against the flow. I hate myself for doing it, but it just happens. All I know is that I've hit a bump in the road, and I'm not who I could be. I want to be all these things and I will do what I can to get there, but most of all finding stength in Him only when I am weak. It comes back to the word, potential. Everyone has it, whether it's a lot or a little. I think in the end it's not about being/doing better because you won't be the best. However, it's about doing what is right. Someone once asked me, "Are you loving God with what you are doing?" At that time, I couldn't say yes to that question even if I wanted to come up with an excuse or trying to rationalize it, and I can't say yes now.
6 comments:
I feel ya.
carl i still think youre the best of all when it comes to flag football. dont worry.
I think you misunderstand, potential is not equated to failure, but rather to hope. Your right, we are all failures, but the point is to improve upon oneself for whatever purpose you may be after. Those with minimal potential are those who often lack ability or are out of opportunities. No matter whether your a Christian or Secular, much will always be expected. Especially when great opportunities have been fated your ways. Like the three guys who were given varying amounts of cash, 2 of them who risked investments and the third who hid. Otherwise you might end up like those guys at my old work place who hated their jobs and wondered what happened with their live. Even if you fail you left it all on the courts. Nothing wrong with gathering yourself, but just don't wait forever to start.
Thoughts similar to peter's came to mind when I was reading. Sorry if some of this is incoherent I just woke up :\
1. "don't we all have the potential to be better? because I am 100% sure that no one in this world has maximized all they can do in their life."
-What do you define as better? More money, prestige, power, sway, or responsibilities? If maximization requires that one must epitomize themselves in all secular world views of "success" then, yes believe nobody in the world has done so (maximized being 100% completion). But like you elude to later in your post, that "better" is not the "best" thing but the "right" thing. And what is the "Right" thing? Well if you're a Christan it would be obedience to His will in all aspects of your life. That the first and greatest commandment according Matt 22:37-40 is to LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul. And what is LOVE for God? 1Jn 5:3 says LOVE for God is to OBEY Him. So maximization of life would not be living the perfect, sinless, successful life as the world see it, but to adhere to God's will in every situation. But just because Jesus is and will be the only person to ever accomplish this 100% maximization does not mean we should just give up because it's impossible. Nay we should pursue this model even more passionately because it is the greatest commandment of our faith.
2. "there's always someone that's going to be better than you in whatever you do, so don't waste your time in being better than everyone because it will just consume your life"
-This depends where your motivation for living comes from. If it comes from God, then your 1 on 1 relationship with God and His will for your life should be COMPLETELY objective of other peoples personal relationships with God. I'm not saying to separate or not care about others by any means here because loving others is the 2nd greatest commandment. However simply put that God's will for you specifically pertains to only you specifically. We shouldn't put God's will for us next to God's will for others and then compare which is "better" but simply focus on doing what WE are told. And I totally agree with you that if your motivation to overachieve comes from the drive to overcome the "feats" of others then YES you will NEVER be completely satisfied.
3."It comes back to the word, potential. Everyone has it, whether it's a lot or a little. I think in the end it's not about being/doing better because you won't be the best. However, it's about doing what is right"
-In terms of potential I think Pete had the the right idea as I was thinking about the same parable of the talents. Some are given more talents or potential for return from investments than others. And yes we as a world put a higher value on the higher quantity (10 Talents > 1 Talent) which is not the point that Jesus was trying to make, but with the potential/talents that you are given you should invest not some but ALL of it in adherence to God's will. The point was in the INVESTMENT of the talents you have and not on the initial or final AMOUNT of talents. So it absolutely makes no difference what we start or end with just how we used it. Like in Ch2 of 2Tim God created things differently some for noble use and others for ignoble and we ought not compare, complain, and focus on why we got the amount we have but focus on HOW we are going to invest it. And time is something we can never get back, every moment in life is an opportunity to invest in God and apathy and complacency fiendishly eat away at these opportunities leaving us with less and less to invest.
Conclusion: Don't bury your God given potential even if it is just 1 talent, but get out there and invest that junks. :)
writing comments beyond 140 characters results in a loss of pontential.
hahahahahaaa this is a sad sad truth :(
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