that is what God said to me, "don't waste your time." well he didn't really say those words exactly to me, but that was the gist of it.
Before he "spoke" to me, I was actually having a rough week. It wasn't rough in the sense where everything was bad, woe is me type of a week. It was rough because I was wrestling with myself and getting restless with my thoughts. I began to wonder about certain things in my life and I couldn't shake off the cloud of disgust. I became overwhelmed with thoughts and it was evident even in my own life. I went to work not wanting to be there, not caring to do anything. I knew there was more to life than just being here and doing whatever. I knew that. But for some reason, my heart didn't believe it.
It was this past Saturday, when I went into work again. I felt fatigued and restless. Staring at the computer screen made things worse. I just wasn't right. Pacing around the room didn't help, so I sat back down in my chair and started to clear my mind. That's when God revealed himself to me. Right there, He opened my eyes and showed me how selfish I was. How I was wrestling with myself instead of with Him. He told me that during this process, I just lost sight of Him and it was time to come back. I got out of my seat and picked up my bible memory verses that have collected dust in my back pack and just went at it. All my restlessness just faded away, and I was at peace again. Now with a greater hunger for God, everything else didn't seem to matter. I drove home with the radio off. The only sound in the car was my voice belting out praise songs and the verses I memorized. I knew it all of this was from God because I got it confirmed the next day at church. The sermon was about the disciplined mind. In it, P. Seth mentioned how he wanted to memorize verses more and challenged those who drive to not listen to music or talk radio so they wouldn't be distracted. Crazy that I started doing those things the day before.
I know I may come off as a not so spiritual guy. If you think you're like that too, God will work in your life in ways you might not understand. In the end, being spiritual or holy, in a sense doesn't matter. It's about glorifying God with what you do and following His ways/commands. I'm telling you, it feels great.
7 comments:
dude. nice. and the mental image of you singing to no music is HILARIOUS
I think God reveals himself in the times when we most need him. I personally find that when I am in my darkest state, God shows up, because that is the only time I am willing to listen to him. Just keep persevering, and don't forget what you learned too fast like i do... hehe.
I like the detailed version you told me at Bschool better haha. See you in a couple
mm. nice entry, it was an encouragement! it's the relationship you have with him and that's all that matters.
2 words: Prophecy team.
i just had to laugh out loud when i imagined you singing intensely in the car all by yourself hahaha. but good post, man. hope everything else is well =D
Amen!!
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