call me Miss Cleo because I can see the future

How does that saying go? Hindsight is 50-50 and it truly is. I think it's funny when people give you the big "I TOLD YOU SO" when something happens to you and they claim that they've said it all along from the beginning. What is it that we gain by saying, "I told you so"? A sense of accomplishment? We are truly psychic? I must admit that I've done it in the past and I prolly still do it now, but I think the main reason we do it is because we feel good in knowing that we were right, but at the expense of a person's failure in whatever it was.

As friends, we're suppose to be supportive of one another endeavors, no matter whatever the case may be. However, there are times when we put our foot down or we just can't agree/support with what they are doing. That is a sign of a true friend. Instead of this blind loyalty that we believe we are binding by, we challenge one another sometimes by telling them we hope for the best for them, but can't go along with their decision because of various reasons.

Observing this notion in a relationship setting is where is gets interesting. You have friends from all over saying different things like:

"He/She is legit, you two will make a great couple"
"He/She is a jerk/biz, stay away from him/her"
"You two got my support. I want to see it happen"
" If you go after him/her, you'll be making a big mistake."

Everyone is a critic. If everyone likes him/her, they must be someone special. But in the end, your friends always got something to say. If they think they know, they usually don't until after something happens. So listen, but don't take everything to heart. Sometimes it's about taking a risk, taking a chance, getting throw curveballs, getting knocked down, but in the end getting back up again.

star trek

I wasn't much of a star trek fan growing up as I was into Star Wars, but I recommend watching the new Star Trek movie. It's pretty good, even for someone who doesn't know much about it. I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who's going to watch it, but really do yourself a favor and go see it.

the demon inside demands to be unleashed

have you ever felt the feeling of settling for good, when deep down inside you know best can be achieved? it's like the feeling of going into an exam, knowing that you can get an A, but being content with a B. insecurities, deceit, and doubt serve as catalysts making your decision to settle an obvious choice. little to no avail can the human heart find its way through the thick mist. we become blind, trying to logically lead ourselves, but by doing so we trick ourselves in thinking good is the best: that what we have now is better than anything out there. many times we don't act upon this feeling because of it being comfortable or we are just too lazy to counter it. i am guilty of both in my life. sometimes i just want to pour out and expell what i am feeling inside, but every time i do, i just seal it away from the world. i've kept so much in that the pain is starting to bleed through my skin, lurking after prey to feed on. i have realized that the motif of darkness is prevalent in my own life. it it now time to take a step back, take a deep breath, and fall backwards, hoping someone will be there to catch me. i have gone back into the hunt, may the strong and willing survive.

busy weekend

These past few days have been so jam packed, that bloggin wasn't a priority for me. However, it's all done and over with so I can be back here writing again. The main reason for the business was graduation and a wedding. I can't believe it's been a year already since I walked and became an alum of the U. This time around it was my sister's turn. There something about being in the Big House that feels like the world is at peace, or maybe it's just me. The student speaker, George Dong, was pretty good. He interjected into his speech humor and things only a Wolverine would understand. For how much money Larry Paige has, you would think he would be able to address the public in some exciting fashion, but his montonous voice killed the great content of his speech. Overall I'm happy for my sister for sticking it out for 4 years, and to the diesel class, congrats. Welcome to the real world now.



The wedding was great. I couldn't make it to the ceremony due to family graduation obligations, but I did go to the recepetion, late with BJ. haha. We did make it in time for the salads and pretty much repped Table 15 to its fullest. Burger was the highlight of the dance floor, but the spotlight of the night was the Mom/Son and Father/Daughter dance. Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Lee. Hope that you have a wonderful union together, and wish you the best of luck. Haha it's kinda weird that they are my leaders, and I played on the same team for flag football. But yeah, it was a busy, but good weekend.

our new quarterback

Here's a video of what Michigan's offense is gonna look like with Tate Forcier as Q



I know that this is only a spring game and they weren't hitting him, but damn if it's someone who can lead an offense better than Steven Threet, Forcier and do it. I'm excited to watch games in the big house this year again. I bought season tickets and they go without saying that they were worth it. 8 home games. The big games are Notre Dame, Penn State, and OSU. 2nd season with Rich Rod at the helm. So yeah there's the linger taste of 3-9 from last year in the mouth still, but realistically, I think we can be a bowl game team, or dare I say it, in the hunt for the Big Ten championship. Only time can tell, so until Sept 5 @ home vs. Western Michigan, the excitement is only going to build up.

getting jacked

when i saw this clip, i couldn't help but laugh. girls want a vascular man LOL. In all seriousness I don't think a girl really wants their guys to have veins popping out of their skin, but they are looking for a guy who is muscular and fit. Even for myself I feel better when I am fit and strong compared to when I am fat and physically unproductive. So for this summer a goal of mine is to become a bronze adonis. By the end of June, I am striving to be tan and jacked. I plan on doing this with two things: P90x and Speed training. P90x is great because I don't need a gym to do workouts and get jacked, and the speed training is great because it's brings back memories of the high school glory days. I'm not gonna lie. At first, I got my ass owned by both workouts. I could tell I was definately out of shape. After a few workouts though I am sensing and feeling the progress. I can't wait to see what's gonna happen at the end of June. Rest assure there will be before and after pictures. If you want to join in on p90x or speed training, just holla, the speed training group is looking for more members to join, and if you just want to get fit, it will be good for you.

realization

wow brian is right... i ain't no blogger. I'm just a guy who has a blog and writes down this thoughts from time to time. I usually come up with the excuse that I can't come up with anything to write about, but honestly I could write about anything. I think I've set this standard for myself that every post I publish needs to be worthy of reading and if i can't meet my own standard i just don't write. For me it's been about quality over quanity, but I realize for bloggers it's just about having your voice heard, and taking joy in that. I just want to see if I can write about something every day till the end of May. Who knows, maybe it will jump start a love for writing. For sure it's not technically sound, but just raising my voice is good enough for me.

stalemate

Potential. All my life, people have been telling me that I have potential. The potential to do and be greater than who I am. As they are saying this to me, the questions that always pops up in my mind is, "isn't that true for everyone? don't we all have the potential to be better? because I am 100% sure that no one in this world has maximized all they can do in their life." I know they are saying this out of love, trying to motivate me to be better, etc. but at the same time in their eyes, they see me as a failure. I can tell by the tone of their voice, the context in which they share it with, and how they look at me. The kicker is that I know that I am a failure. In some sense they are right. I should be doing/being this person I could be because I have the capability to do so. There are so many things I know I could be doing better or right, but I just let it slide because I feel as though my life is A-ok. All my life, I've gotten by with the norm. Mediocre. Slightly better than average. Whatever it takes to "succeed", but not go over the top. In the end, my mind thinks two things: there's always someone that's going to be better than you in whatever you do, so don't waste your time in being better than everyone because it will just consume your life. no matter what the situation may be, as long as I am still alive on this earth, everything will be okay because I know that God is always there.

I look at those people who overachieve, and I wonder if they are ever satisfied. I'm sure they find pleasure in besting someone or receiving recognition/award, but that never lasts. In return, they keep working to get more and it's a never ending cycle. And then I see my life, I've gotten by with everything, and I'm somewhat content with it. I know I could have, should have, would have done things different if I knew the outcome, but I don't. But at the same time, I know not overachieving does not mean that I can be stagnate, or worse, falling the other way. I'm on a very slippery slope. Ultimately, I want my motiviation to be for God and no one else, but when people run the guilt trip on you I find myself either: Doing it for them, so they can shut the eff up or say or do the wrong thing, even if in my heart i know that i'm just going against the flow. I hate myself for doing it, but it just happens. All I know is that I've hit a bump in the road, and I'm not who I could be. I want to be all these things and I will do what I can to get there, but most of all finding stength in Him only when I am weak. It comes back to the word, potential. Everyone has it, whether it's a lot or a little. I think in the end it's not about being/doing better because you won't be the best. However, it's about doing what is right. Someone once asked me, "Are you loving God with what you are doing?" At that time, I couldn't say yes to that question even if I wanted to come up with an excuse or trying to rationalize it, and I can't say yes now.

choices

Lately, the joke of the town has been FML, which means F*** my life. There's a site for people to write about their situation and how it sucks for them and they usually end the bit with FML. From an objective point of view, some of them are pretty funny. Actually, it's hilarious. It's so easy to laugh at others misfortunes because it really does suck for them. Psychologically, I think it's easy for you to laugh because it makes you feel better about your own life. It's nice knowing that your life isn't that bad compared with someone else. Yeah...somewhat messed up, but that's the way it is. Hmm... so the title of the post is "choices", but what does FML have to do it them?

Basically, another reason why FML is funny is because of this fact. Whatever misfortune or mishap that person experiences, it takes them by surprise. Thus, giving the reason of saying F*** my life, because there was nothing they could have done about it. It just happened. They couldn't have prevented it by choice. Ah and there we go. The word, choice, is brought back into the conversation. I'm writing about choice because as people we love to have the choice, a choice, whatever choice, to impose our free will in our lives. (whether or not making the right choice, that's a different topic) However, more often than not, we don't realize how our choices really affect our lives. We want to blame anything/anyone other than ourselves. We scapegoat because we think that it isn't our fault, but if you only stopped to think and instead of unleashing a cornicopia of emotion. Maybe, just maybe you would see the real reason why you got into that situation, or said the things you said was because of the choices you made.

It's easy to complain when things don't go our way. Hell I'm guilty of this as well. Now though I've come to realize that instead of complaining about things, why not just accept it and continuing living life with this experience/knowledge gained. Everything isn't about you, it just isn't. I've had to learn it the hard way, but now that I have, I can say that it's worth it. So if you want to keep complaining, i'm sure there are millions of people out there who have it worst that you. There is prolly nothing "FML" worthy about your life and if you think you do, I can prolly top it with something worse. But that's the thing, life goes on, and with it more choices to make. Making the right ones, well, only time will tell.

second chances

A friend wanted me to write about second chances. Not just second chances in general, but second chances when it comes to relationships. I'll tell you right off the bat, I'm all for second chances. There's an aspect of forgiveness, mercy, etc. However, there are circumstances in which a second chance might not be granted due to various reasons , and that's understandable. Even though I am for second chances, I realize the possibility of one is rare. Not included within the second chances realm are those couples that go on breaks, but they still talk to each other and then eventually get back together. Nah, I'm talking about people who broke up, went to minimal contact with each other, and then realized later on that maybe they were meant for each other or try to work out those differences/reasons they broke up in the first place. Haha it's no wonder it's so rare, after reading that last sentence, there has to be a lot of recognizing and action taking place. Also the fact that both people need to be on the same page after they weren't makes it seem even harder. I'm not trying to discourage you by this, but to offer the reality of the situation. However, what does it take for a second chance to happen? Well this is the part my friend wanted me to address.

Seeing that in most cases of a break up, a breach of trust/understanding surfaces as the reason for the split. Something was done or even not done to affect the person's mind and heart about the other person. Because of this case, the person has a lot to prove to the other person. It takes humility for both parties. The person who is at "fault/wrong" must realize what they did was wrong, and must have the desire to change. At same time, the person who was wronged, must not be jaded and accept the fact that there is progress in the change. Instead of thinking that the other person won't change and just leave it at that. This is the surface of what it looks like, to go in depth is the hard work, dedication, and action poured in. Some may have it easier than others, maybe it is meant to be for some.

There's usually two adages that go with second chances. The first one is "never say never" and the second one is "if it's really meant to be, it will happen". I fully believe in both. Yes you can never say never, because you really don't know what can happen. However, you can get close to never by closing doors/opportunities. It just comes down to making choices and picking what path you're gonna take. With the second adage, it's easy to believe that if something is meant to be it will happen. That's awesome to think that. But once again, it comes down to your choices. Even if it was meant to be, you can't just sit back, do nothing, and know that it's gonna happen. I do agree that sometimes being proactive is taking a step back, but there has to be a point in time where being proactive means action. In the end it's about sticking to what you decide to act out. I was talking to a friend about this and told them, "There's always the possibility, but know your priorities." I know what mine are, do you?

motivation

By definition, motivation is the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior. What are your motivations in life? What drives you to do the things that you do, the actions you commit to, the reason for your behavior? For myself, I have been brewing over this for sometime because I don't like to live life by just doing. I like to give thought to my actions and even review my impulses to find the root of what took place. So after thinking about it this is what i came up with, a couple of reasons for my life now ranging from important to petty things.

First and foremost, the reason why I live is because of Jesus. Oh wow, that one didn't surprise you, but it shouldn't. Actually it might for those who think I'm a heathen. Anyways, I know there are other motivating factors on why I live, but the main reason above anything else is getting to know Him better and being grateful for his death on the Cross. But it doesn't just stop there. I don't want to be a person who just gives a reason and can't back it up with anything. For me it's from 1 Peter 3:15 : "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect"

In my last reason, I joked around being called a heathen, but that actually leads me to my next reason. For some of my actions, the motivate behind it is to prove people wrong. If we parallel this with my spiritual walk, I want to show people that there is no specific directions that you need to follow in order to know Christ. Just because I'm not doing it the way everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean what I'm doing is wrong. It's just different from what you are doing. Someone once told me that I wasn't spiritually mature. Instead of coming back at them with their flaws and how it's hypocritical for them to tell me such a thing. A fire grew inside of me to just show them that they were wrong. I was reminded of John 15:5 : "I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing" If they were to call me out and saying I wasn't bearing fruit in my life, then I would respect that because there is a standard to that. You're either bearing fruit in your life or you're not. But to say someone isn't spiritually mature in your own eyes, judged by your own standard, well that's a different story. But yeah, this is just a small glimpse of my motivation of wanting to prove people wrong.

The last motivation I wanted to share was the reason why I write on this blog. I write here because I want to open your eyes. Too often we go through life with a very narrow mindset and we see what we only want to see. I can tell you that I am guilty of that at time. Yes it's also true, that I'm just one man and these are only my words. You don't have to think what I am saying is right, but just acknowledge the fact that it's something different. I can assure you that what you are reading comes from my soul. That sometimes you're reading about my experiences with joy, pain, love, etc. I'm very open to share such things and I see it as a blessing. And for all you haters out there, keep hating cuz I'll keep writing just for you.

absence makes the heart grow fonder vs. out of sight, out of mind

Which one do you believe in? The first half of the title, suggest that whatever you are missing makes the heart yearn for it more through time. The second half of the title, suggest that whatever missing is just that, gone from your thoughts. Maybe I have to be clearer. Which one of the two do you believe in when it comes to someone you once cared about, but they aren't there in your daily life anymore? There is no right answer when it comes down to choosing one. One isn't always better than the other. It's a matter of choice and sticking to what you believe. I ask the question not having the intention of knowing your answer, but for you to evaluate your own heart and its actions. My past entries have been about others and what my observations about them were. This one is about myself and my experiences on this topic. At different junctions of my life (IN THE PAST) I have chosen followed each saying. Here I will share my insight.

absence makes the heart grow fonder
I like to joke around by saying this is the "you got it bad" phase. Even though she's not around, somehow she occupies your mind. Whenever you aren't doing something, the thought of her consumes you. It's not obsessive or anything, but it actually drives you kinda crazy. That good kinda crazy. It's the feeling you get when you know something amazing is gone from your life and the moment you realize it, it's like a part of you is missing. A void that is unable to be filled right away by another person. Bittersweet. You're holding on to that thread of hope, looking for signs that quite possibly a return to equilibrium will come one day. Be ready to lose sleep because there will be nights where restlessness will creep up on you. There were times where D-mode settles in. Those are the worst of times. The best part is the objective view you get of the person. No longer are you constantly around them, but you get to see them for who they are without proximity, mere exposure, and the works. This could be the point where it solidifies your feelings for them, but at the same time hanging by this thread of hope can be dangerous. She may not feel the same way or she just found someone else. Plus, going for round two is very challenging. Timing plays a big role here.

out of sight, out of mind
This is what i like to call the "i don't give an eff" stage. It's not that you've become apathetic or stopped caring about everything at all. It's just the fact that since you don't see that person, you stopped thinking about them and move your thoughts elsewhere. In a sense you stopped caring for that person because you feel like your thoughts shouldn't be wasted on them. It doesn't matter what happens to them, it is just news to your head. The good thing about going through with this is that you move on faster and can get yourself to look forward to the future. "Grass is greener on the other side" type deal. Some one asked, "If you actually like this person, how can you just "move on" or "stop caring" about that person so quickly? Doesn't that mean you never cared for them at all?" Not at all. In some of the cases, you might still care, but you got to sacrifice that in order to get some perspective. Sometimes it's just for the best. Sometimes you're opening your eyes and seeing them for who they really are and realizing it's just not meant to be.

In the end, no matter what choice I made. The girl does not come back into my life. She ends up just being an acquaintance of mine, and maybe we become friends later. Rarely does the girl ever come back into your life and plays a significant role. I've seen it a few times because both parties were committed to each other and later down the road they came back together. What I'm trying to say is don't get your hopes up too high because the odds are stacked against you. At the time, your heart and emotions might tell you that getting back with person might be a great idea, but you just have to think logically as well. Just trust, that someone better will come along. No need to force anything. But for most of my readers, here's some advice if you want to find a significant other: Leave AA because it's not a matter if the boy likes the girl, it's the matter of whether or not everyone and their moms approve of such a relationship should work out. You don't need that.

don't waste your time

that is what God said to me, "don't waste your time." well he didn't really say those words exactly to me, but that was the gist of it.

Before he "spoke" to me, I was actually having a rough week. It wasn't rough in the sense where everything was bad, woe is me type of a week. It was rough because I was wrestling with myself and getting restless with my thoughts. I began to wonder about certain things in my life and I couldn't shake off the cloud of disgust. I became overwhelmed with thoughts and it was evident even in my own life. I went to work not wanting to be there, not caring to do anything. I knew there was more to life than just being here and doing whatever. I knew that. But for some reason, my heart didn't believe it.

It was this past Saturday, when I went into work again. I felt fatigued and restless. Staring at the computer screen made things worse. I just wasn't right. Pacing around the room didn't help, so I sat back down in my chair and started to clear my mind. That's when God revealed himself to me. Right there, He opened my eyes and showed me how selfish I was. How I was wrestling with myself instead of with Him. He told me that during this process, I just lost sight of Him and it was time to come back. I got out of my seat and picked up my bible memory verses that have collected dust in my back pack and just went at it. All my restlessness just faded away, and I was at peace again. Now with a greater hunger for God, everything else didn't seem to matter. I drove home with the radio off. The only sound in the car was my voice belting out praise songs and the verses I memorized. I knew it all of this was from God because I got it confirmed the next day at church. The sermon was about the disciplined mind. In it, P. Seth mentioned how he wanted to memorize verses more and challenged those who drive to not listen to music or talk radio so they wouldn't be distracted. Crazy that I started doing those things the day before.

I know I may come off as a not so spiritual guy. If you think you're like that too, God will work in your life in ways you might not understand. In the end, being spiritual or holy, in a sense doesn't matter. It's about glorifying God with what you do and following His ways/commands. I'm telling you, it feels great.

sometimes words are better left unsaid

but if you really know the guy, you know what they are.




i know it happens. i know it hurts. But sometimes, it's for the best. You will learn. You will grow. Most of all you will become better if you don't let it consume you. I know because I've been there. In due time, in due time...

all i hear is whine, and you just want his chedda. you wondering what's wrong, it's you, get better

"You kick it like me, no exaggeration necessary
Livin revolutionary, nothin less than legendary
Gangsta shit hereditary, got it from my dad
Flow colder than February with extraordinary swag"
- T.I.

T.I. couldn't put it any better to describe the return of Dr. Leto. He's back with vengeance on the trail of spitting truth for those who can handle it. I'm sure there will be haters. Hell I'll tell you right now, there are haters. But it's alright, because when they hatin the player, they're just frustrated cuz they can't hold their own game. So why the comeback, it's been so long. Yeah, during my hiatus, I saw and felt things that added to the fuel of a comeback. Now, the transition is complete and it's time to share and open up to the world once again. It's no holds barred. Anything goes. Dr. Leto's posts will become a spark for discussions. Hell, I hope you come at me, it'll make things interesting.

Hmm... so what relationship topic will I talk about today? It'll be about how girls complain that there aren't any legit guys around them, when they are blind to see those that are actually right in front of their eyes. To continue off that thought, how girls say they know what they want in a guy, but in the end it becomes clear they really don't know at all.

First of all, the complaining about no guys being around. Sure you gotta vent sometimes, I understand that. But when it becomes constant and persistent, you gonna get a "shut the eff up". Girl please, wake up. I know your "girls" won't tell you to, you guys are suppose to stick together. Even if it's the right thing to do, they still might not do it. They might even lie to get your back. *Applause* that's great loyalty there. But last time I checked, you're eventually gonna have to marry a guy, unless you aren't into that sorta thing. Okay, so I'm getting feedback from the peanut gallery, "What are you talking about?!? We recognize that there are legit guys around us, it's just we don't see ourselves with him." Aight, that's cool that you can see it, maybe you're not so blind after all. I get the chemistry thing too. If I don't match up well with the talent, then she ain't on my level. Everyone does get their right to reject someone if they please. Remember this though, guys usually pursue after the girls, and if you're not getting pursued, then something might be up. Complaining probably won't help you there, but a little change could.

So what does a legit guy look like? Two words for you, Brian Choi. That man is so legit. Honestly, if we dissect the components of Brian, he has what it takes to be called legit. Some may say that he's too much of a hater, but we can overlook that fact. For you guys out there, I'm not saying you gotta try jock Brian's style, but listen up to see what makes him legit. Two things that makes a guy legit: Number 1 : He's ready to make a commitment. I'm telling you ladies, it's hard to find a guy who just wants to settle down with you and focus on the future together. You think guys have their eyes wandering and just leaving their options open, you're absolutely right, they do. But a legit guy has his eyes set on you and nobody else. It's no use complaining if you aren't ready to do that. This leads to Number 2: He's willing to compromise or make changes. Like how you girls love, "it's all about the little things". I feel, however, that it's also about progress. That you see him adapting because of the certain thing that bother you or you dislike. This isn't a one way street though. If you're not doing the same, then don't be surprised when you're dropped off at the curb.

So who doesn't want a legit guy? Funny thing is that most girls don't know what they want. Even if some legit guy had you in his sights, and the chemistry was there. He might just slip right through your fingers because of your indecisiveness, stupidity, your friends telling you what to do, etc. I had a conversation with a friend that went like this:

Friend: yea eff man, sucks to be a legit guy sometimes
me: i know, like you think that's what girls want. a legit guy, not just some nice guy, but a legit one
Friend: they don't know what they want
me: that's so true
Friend: they end up getting convinced by some guy who makes it his goal to get that girl instead of trying to find the right girl . Then he goes back to being his regular self and then the girl complains that he changed

And there you have it, the cycle of crap begins again. Girls will move on and complain about how they they have trust issues and all that jazz because they got done up by some douchebag and their inability to actually know what they want. Then they pass up on the legit guy due to their jadedness. I respect the girl that is trying to figure things out and not even thinking about boys in the process, but once they start talking about getting a man during that time. All respect is lost. The complaining will start up again because they think it's about the guy, but in the end, it's about them.

class act

Today, Tony Dungy announced that he was retiring from his position as head coach of the Indianapolis Colts. He was quoted saying, "I'm at a point, kind of like the Apostle Paul," explained Dungy, "he said, 'If I live, it's good. If I die and go home with the Lord, it's better.'" Dungy will go home to his wife, Lauren, and family in Tampa, as well as home in an earthly sense to do what he calls the Lord's work with various ministry outreach programs that include work with troubled youths and convicted prisoners. (this was taken from Espn's Chris Mortensen) He leaves the Colts after 7 seasons with them, including a Super Bowl title in 2007.

Dang...this guy is unbelieveable. Mad respect to him for the decision he made. He said that he was finally at peace with retiring. In a culture, especially sports culture where money, fame, status is on the forefront of people's minds, Dungy was in it because of God. He did his job and wasn't afraid to mention his calling, his faith, his savior. He did it with class though. Dungy was never bolsterous, flippantly mentioning. Nah, he did it with his actions and words that came from the soul. I'm so glad that he was able to coach my favorite football team, and to lead them to a super bowl as he made history. Colts won't be the same without him, God bless.

it's just temporary

two and a half years ago i wrote this mildly humorous yet truthful post.

"It's not my fault I fell in love...You are the one that tripped me

looking at the title above it is safe to say that one party has blamed the other for their fall into love. it is so often in a relationship that the blame game takes place over meaningless to important things. if things aren't cleared up and continue to be ambiguous, the end of the relationship is the only thing certain. i see miscommunication or even no communication all the time in relationships, by accident or on purpose, however if you want the relationship to grow and hopefully last a lil longer then avoid or minimize it. In the next few passages I will place scenarios, give tips and answer questions on the topic.

One scenario that i see most often is when the boy/girl don't talk to each other anymore for whatever reason. Instead of approaching the other person, they go complain to their friends and most likely make up a reason on why they aren't talking anymore. First off save your friends from hearing complaint after complaint on the same topic. Use that time to think of what you need to say to the other person and talk to them about what's going on. I know it may be awkward or even frightening to approach someone on how you really feel, but this is a significant other we are talking about. They should be understanding to your feelings and vice versa. My point is do not prolong the problem, but be proactive to strive towards a solution.

Another scenario that always seem to happen it wordplay / misinterpretation of something said. When one person doesn't clearly state what is on their mind, they leave too much room for the other person to piece the rest of the puzzle. For example, Person A asks, "how are you doing?" Person B replies with, "oh i'm alright" even though something is up. Person A sees this and asks, "are you sure? you seem like you have something on your mind." Person B replies with, "yea it's nothing..." Many of you prolly assume that Person B is a guy because "guys don't care that much or they shrug it off". I assure you these situations happen to both sides so all these are looked upon objectively, placing the fault on the people not the gender. With that said, being vague in these situations does not help. If something is pulling at your heart to say something, it's doing it for a reason. The longer you hold it in, the more hurt you and your other will feel. Closure is better than regret. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have. "

Naturally I am a thinker, that's who i am. could have, might have, should have: all thoughts running through my mind. There comes a point where I run many different scenarios in my head, thinking what would have happen. But the thing is this, even if I did run a million scenarios, the outcome is the same. It doesn't change the fact. What's done is done. I like to say that I live my life with no regrets. That I accept every outcome because in the end, I have to. Do I understand everything? hell no. Sometimes I think it's better off to just acknowledge what has happened, and not spend too much time thinking about it because it can lead to frustration. There's always that struggle between, how much you think about it though. Think too much, you're paranoid, think too little, you're heartless. Finding the balance is key. Key to keeping my mind sane and unadulterated cuz it's time to get back to work. There's a lot to accomplish.

the end of an era

change. it has become the cliche word of the year. 2009 is all about change. We all look back at the past year, "learn" from our mistakes, and decide what we are going to do for this upcoming year. we want to change, modify, and one word some of us hmcc-ers know to all to well, transform. We want to become a better person with each year of life we live. We do so by setting up goals or resolutions and in hopes seeing them through. As words just seem meaningless right now, our actions are suppose to speak louder. However, our actions turn from roars into whispers and another year passes leaving us to think and hope for a better new year. Why is it that we run into this cycle over and over again?

For most of us, we have the common sense to recognize what needs to be change. For some of us, even having the desire and passion to change. But only a few of us, have the know-how to maintain that spirit, being consistent. There might be times where a trip up happens, but the determination lives on as their actions do not cease. I can come up with a whole list of excuses: it's my pride, i'm cynical, i've been hurt, yada yada yada. Sure all those things can play a part, but it comes after seeing that "I've failed." We live in a world where successes are highlighted and made a hoopla about, but it's the failures that give us a backbone and shape who we are.

I can tell you, that I've failed. I've failed in being a son, an older brother, a friend, a Christian, a worker, and the list can go on. But i'm not here dwelling on my failures, I see them for what they are, and act accordingly. I'm not gonna sit around and hope change will happen. i'm gonna do ish about it and take back what i've lost. 2009: what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. That's what I'm living by.